What The Hell Is She Made Of?
by SanctuaryAgent
Summary: Robin finds out about all of Regina's most life threatening moments from the Charming's in the diner in a rather casual way... And poor Snow just can't win!


**Alright folks! This one –shot takes place a few days after Robin and Regina originally started dating (back when Zelena was around). I was just sitting at home with nothing to do when suddenly it struck me that we never saw Robin's reaction to the finding out that Regina went through the clock tower. I then started wondering what his reaction to all the big things Regina has survived in Storybrooke would be. And that is how… this happened. Enjoy!**

**P.S.- I know at this point that Henry didn't remember his actual life, but for the sake of the story I'm going to pretend he does.**

What the Hell is She Made Of?

It was around 1 in the afternoon that Robin found himself wondering down Main Street towards Granny's Diner. The archer had a small smile on his face as he reflected upon his most recent encounter with the mayor of Storybrooke in her office. He knew the former queen was many, many things, but his lips were still burning for hers as he was left to crave her unmatched kissing skills for the rest of the day. The archer was so caught up in reflecting on the feeling of his lips pressed against those of Regina Mills that he almost didn't hear when his name was called out.

"Watch it Robin!" Leroy called.

Robin looked around and saw the dwarf trying to balance several metal pieces in his arms, two of which looked like hands from the clock tower. "My apologies." Robin said and scooted to the side so that Bashful could get through to help Leroy. Looking up at the clock tower Robin's brow rose as he saw the gaping hole where the clock on the tower used to be. "What happened up there?" He asked curiously.

As David and Snow passed by with Henry and Emma they heard the archer's question. "That's where Regina went through the clock tower." David said simply.

Robin's blue eyes widened and he turned fast to face the prince. "What!?" He demanded.

Snow's eyes widened a bit at the reaction, "Robin, we would have thought Regina might have told you about that." She assured innocently.

"Yeah, or that someone else in this town full of gossipers might have mentioned the fact that Zelena threw her through the clock tower. What did she only tell you about being thrown into Doc's Miata?" Emma asked.

"WHAT!?" Robin practically yelled, his face filled with shock at the news he was being told.

"She left a dent in the hood that Doc was pretty upset about." Henry stated as he glanced over at the white haired dwarf who was looking at blue prints to repair the clock tower.

Robin's stomach did several flips that made him feel queasy, "She did what?" He said almost breathlessly.

"I can't believe Regina never told you." Emma admitted.

"She probably hasn't told him the other stuff either." David pointed out with a shake of his head. "Poor guy has no idea what he is getting himself into." The prince sighed.

"Excuse me?" Robin exclaimed.

"David!" Snow gasped and hit her husband.

Henry smirked and grabbed Robin by the arm leading the archer towards the diner, "Oh boy Robin, do we have some stories for you." The boy grinned as he had the group away from the clock tower.

(A few minutes later)

"Okay, so I say we go around and just mention whatever event comes to mind first." Emma declared as she sat in the booth beside Robin who was cornered in with no means of escape.

David nodded, "Sounds reasonable, but who gets to start?" He asked and looked around.

"Emma should since this was her idea." Snow announced with a smile.

"Okay, fine." Emma said and turned towards Robin.

"I'm thoroughly confused as to what is going on here." The archer announced.

"Nothing really Robin, we are just going to tell you a few stories about my mom that's all." Henry said with a sly smirk that made Robin feel uneasy.

"So do you want to hear about the time Regina was kidnapped and tortured with electro-shock therapy?" Emma asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey! That was mine!" Snow gasped and frowned. "Now I have to think of another!"

Robin's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, "She went through what!?" He gasped.

"Or how about the story of how not even two hours after that she almost died to save the town from a trigger device by letting it absorb all of her strength?" Henry asked and leaned forward a bit.

"Hey! That was my back up!" Snow cried and shook her head.

"Or what about how 15 minutes after that she got on a ship with us to go battle that freaky powerful sorcerer Peter Pan in Neverland!" David added.

"You let her do that!?" Robin gasped and looked at the group of people around him with disbelief.

"David! You took my second back up!" Snow whined.

"Well now you get to go, I'm sure you can think of one." David said and rubbed Snow's back comfortingly.

Snow thought for a minute and suddenly smiled, opening her mouth to speak she was suddenly cut off.

"What about the time Regina absorbed that major freaky green lightning death curse thing from the well in order to save Emma and Snow?" Ruby asked as she walked past.

Snow threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "Seriously!" She cried.

Robin was looking at the group with a permanent look of shock on his face. "How often does this stuff happen to her?" He asked.

"Oh around several times a year." David said. "2 or 3 times give or take, maybe a few more than that."

"Oh! Remember that time Gold caused that giant fire at Town Hall that Regina and I were caught in?" Emma blurted with a snap of her fingers.

"And the time that her soul was almost sucked out by a wraith!" Henry added just as excitedly.

"Did all of this really happen!?" Robin demanded, his heart beating faster in his chest as he thought of all the horrors that the Charming family had just listed off.

"Oh yeah, it all happened. All within the last few years actually." David said as he continued to rub Snow's back.

"Oh! I got one!" Snow squealed excitedly. "One time Regina hit her head on the hood of her car when it broke down!" She looked around at the rest of the table and saw them all just staring at her. "What! You guys took basically all of the good ones." She pointed out and crossed her arms.

"Honestly it's a wonder she is still alive." David pointed out after the awkward silence ended.

"Seriously, and she never even has a scratch on her." Emma said with a furrowed eyebrow.

"Ariel stabbed her in the neck with a fork once." Snow mumbled.

"WHAT!?" The entire table shouted.

Robin felt like his head was spinning as he took in all of this information. The woman he loved had been electrocuted, over dosed with magic, thrown into cars and clock towers, almost had her soul sucked out, stuck in a flaming building, and almost sacrificed herself for this town. "What the hell is she made of!?" He demanded out of the blue.

"What is who made of?" A voice said from behind the group and they all turned to see Regina standing there looking curiously innocent.

"Did you really get stabbed with a fork in the neck?" Ruby asked as she walked by again.

"What?" Regina asked and suddenly it dawned on her what the group must have been discussing. She looked at Robin and smirked, "I'm on my break thief, if you really want to know what I'm made of then meet me at my office in five." With that she disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

Robin watched the smoke dissipate and then turned to meet the eyes of the group at the table. The archer cleared his throat and nodded to them, "Wonderful chat, we'll have to do it again some time. Now if you'll excuse me, I must be off." He then jumped out of the booth and raced towards the door.

"4 minutes and 38 seconds!" Ruby called out after him with a giggle, she then turned to look at the table of Charmings and smirked when she saw each of them wearing the same expression of wide eyes and gaping mouths.

"Can I unheard that?" Henry asked and looked a bit paler.

"Can we all?" Emma added and received nods of approval from David and Snow.

**The End!**

**Please comment and review!**


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